Posted by Post Authored By: Teresa Simmons & Jason A. Pica II
“I believe you.”
“You didn’t deserve for that to happen to you.”
“I will try and get you the justice you deserve.”
Rarely does a male survivor hear one of these phrases, let alone all three. A common misconception exists that men are not affected by domestic or Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) defines IPV as any behavior between a couple that involves acts of physical and sexual violence, emotional and psychological abuse, and controlling behavior.[1] Anyone can be the victim of IPV regardless of age, marital status, or sexual orientation.[2] Amongst gay, bisexual, and transgender men, IPV occurs at a rate equal to or even higher than within the heterosexual community.[3] However, despite the increase of violence within the LGBTQ+ community, few individuals actually seek help.[4]
In a NCADV study of male same sex relationships only 26% of men called the police for assistance after experiencing near-lethal violence. [5] LGBTQ+ men often do not report the IPV they experience to the police out of fear that reporting will do more harm than good. And those who do report within the community are often met with discriminatory and ineffective legal responses.[6] Blatant homophobia combined with the ignorant belief that domestic violence within the Queer community is “mutual” creates barriers that prevent male survivors from seeking help.
A further complication of this issue is the intersectionality between IPV in the gay community, coupled with race and class. The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV) reports that LGBTQ+ Black and African Americans are more likely to experience physical IPV compared to those who do not identify as Black or African American[7]. Similarly, LGBTQ+ victims on public assistance are also more likely to experience IPV compared to those who aren’t receiving public assistance.[8]
The Illinois Domestic Violence Act (The Act) strives to recognize domestic violence as a serious crime against individuals and society. The Act also urges the legal community to help provide survivors with immediate and effective assistance and protection.[9] Despite the fact that gay marriage in the United States was not legal nationwide until 2015 after the decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, the Act has not been updated since 1986. The Act uses the terms “family or household members,” which is meant to include same-sex couples.[10] However, this should hardly be considered inclusive as the Act fails to address many of the distinct problems faced by the Queer community.
For example, abusive partners use verbal harassment and financial abuse as a control tactic in IPV because LGBTQ+ victims experience higher rates of bias-motivated violence amongst their families and peers. [11] The violence that LGBTQ+ victims experience in IPV makes them more likely than non-LGBTQ people to experience poverty, unemployment, and homelessness. [12]The threat of these factors makes it difficult for victims to leave their abusive relationships creating a violent cycle where victims continue to experience IPV. To help stop the cycle of IPV that LGBTQ+ victims experience, its important to recognize that there are forms of IPV and domestic abuse that are specific to LGBTQ+ victims.
Male survivors are told no one will come to their aid because of their sexual orientation and gender identity and often told they deserve the abuse they’re facing because of their identity. Additionally, male survivors that have not fully come out to loved ones are threatened to be “outed” and further victimized by their peers. [13] Queer individuals will often avoid outwardly expressing their orientation and gender identity to avoid discrimination.[14] Abusive partners use “outing” as a tool to further abuse their victims and prevent them from turning to their family, friends, or even the police for support. The Act defines “Interference with Personal Liberty” as threatening physical abuse, harassment, intimidation or willful deprivation so as to compel another to abstain or to refrain from conduct in which she or he has a right to engage. [15] “Outing” should be explicitly listed as a form of Interference with Personal Liberty. Until the Act is updated, lawyers can advocate for what the Act fails to convey. Partnering with local organizations like the Center on Halsted and Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (CAASE) will help lawyers in giving survivors up to date advice on recent changes in the law. Furthermore, these organizations can help lawyers learn how to listen, empower, and support LGBTQ+ male survivors. Understanding the various factors impacting LGBTQ+ men experiencing IPV will help in creating culturally specific services, housing, and economic resources to better protect and promote the interests of the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.
In 2005, a four-floor building with ten different courtrooms was built at 555 W. Harrison St. solely to hear domestic violence cases, which creates a resounding realization that domestic violence is prevalent in Cook County. As long as we continue to live in the era of “boys will be boys” and “real men can’t be raped,” survivors within the Queer community will continue to suffer in silence. As violence within the Queer community continues to increase certain questions must be asked and answered. Should judges or the law factor in sexuality in their decisions knowing that there are forms of IPV and domestic abuse that are specific to LGBTQ+ victims? And should judges be required to take mandatory seminars or training classes to address any biases they hold regarding the LGBTQ+ community? Regardless of race, economic status, sexual orientation, or gender identity, every person deserves access to equal treatment and justice. Judges can use their power and influence to write articles in newspapers on legal proceedings involving domestic violence amongst LGBTQ+ men. The opinion of judges can go a long way in changing the biases many in the legal profession hold. Judges’ opinions will also offer a needed push towards policy change.
As legal advocates, the first step in creating change is education and awareness. First, we need to be conscious of the specific obstacles and prejudices that male survivors face. Additionally, we need to acknowledge the biases we sometimes hold that prevent us from supporting male survivors to the fullest extent. Finally, we need to be allies and listen, validate, and advocate for improving the experience of LGBTQ+ survivors. It starts with this:
“I believe you.”
“You didn’t deserve for that to happen to you.”
“I will try and get you the justice you deserve.”
[1] “Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2018.
[2] Rollé, Luca. Giardina, Giulia. Caldarera M., Angela. Gerino, Eva. Brustia, Piera. “When Intimate Partner Violence Meets Same Sex Couples: A Review of Same Sex Intimate Partner Violence.” Frontiers in Psychology: Gender, Sex and Sexualities, 2018.
[3] Stephenson, Rob. Finneran, Catherine. “The IPV-GBM Scale: A New Scale to Measure Intimate Partner Violence among Gay and Bisexual Men.” PLOS One, 2013.
[4] “Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2018.
[5] Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2018.
[6] “Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2018.
[7] “Preventing and Responding to Domestic Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer (LGBTQ) Communities.” The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 2019.
[8] “Preventing and Responding to Domestic Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer (LGBTQ) Communities.” The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 2019.
[9] See 750 ILCS 60/102
[10] See 750 ILCS 60/103
[11] “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and HIV-Affected Intimate Partner Violence.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2016.
[12] “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and HIV-Affected Intimate Partner Violence.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2016.
[13] Stephenson, Rob. Finneran, Catherine. “The IPV-GBM Scale: A New Scale to Measure Intimate Partner Violence among Gay and Bisexual Men.” PLOS One, 2013.
[14] Ard, L. Kevin. Makadon, J. Harvey. “Addressing Intimate Partner Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Patients.” National Center for Biotechnology, 2013.
[15] See 750 ILCS 60/103
About the Authors:
Teresa is originally from Buffalo, New York and earned her Bachelor’s degree in Philosophy, Politics, and Public from Xavier University in Cincinnati. Teresa is currently a rising 2L at Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She has a strong interest in family law and a passion for advocating for survivors of gender and power-based violence. This summer, she is a Summer Law Clerk at Chicago Family Attorneys, LLC, conducting research for IP author and expert witness James Berger, and volunteers as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) with the Department of Children and Family Services.
Jason is a senior associate attorney with Chicago Family & Immigration Services, LLC as well as a Staff Attorney and the Vice President on the Board of Directors of Chicago Advocate Legal, NFP. Jason founded J. Pica Mediation, LLC, where he is perfecting a mediation model specifically for families of color. He focuses his practice primarily on divorce and family law as well as adoptions, guardianship of minors in probate, and DCFS appeals. Jason received his Bachelor of Arts and Master of Social Work from Loyola University Chicago and his Juris Doctor from the University of Illinois-Chicago School of Law.